Kaneki, Heaven Knows
by darkness-has-eyes
Summary: Kaneki visits Hide's apartment secretly one night. It's taken months to gather the will to do so. On the messy desk there lies a DVD with the words "For you Kaneki" scribbled in sharpie upon it in familiar handwriting. Post Hide's death in the anime. Full Summary inside. Be ready for the tears Reader-san. ONESHOT ALERT!


Yo! Just so you know this is after Hide dies in the anime. And yes I've read the manga but this is my tribute to Hide.

 **WARNING** : I am going to make you cry Reader-san, I hope you'll forgive me. And wait to play the song when I tell you to, okay?

Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul or the song lyrics or the picture on the cover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 **SUMMARY** :  
 _Kaneki visits Hide's apartment secretly one night. It's taken months to gather the will to do so._

 _On the messy desk there lies a DVD with the words "For you Kaneki" scribbled in sharpie upon it in familiar handwriting._

 _"Ne, Kaneki it's been such a long time since I've seen you. There is so much I want to say, that I have to get off my chest before it suffocates me," are the start of the words that he never got to hear from him._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
' _Thoughts_ '  
" **Talking** "  
 _"Video talking_ "

It's the dead of night. The darkness is all enveloping within the small apartment.

The city lights twinkle tauntingly just outside the pried open window, while the headlights of passing cars in the street below cast shadows about the room.

On the opposing side of the room a shadow cloaked figure leans up against the wall, white locks barely glistening in the existing light.

Kaneki is shaking. Not from the cold but from the smell. The room smells like him.

 _'It smells like Hide.'_

Kaneki thought that he had mentally prepared himself before venturing into the apartment, but he didn't prepare himself to be hit with the nostalgic sunshine scent of the blond. His breath was coming out in uneven puffs that were gradually becoming calming steady inhales.

Gray eyes scanned the darkness before approaching the desk lamp on the table. He was not stupid enough to turn on the main ceiling light in an apartment that hasn't held its tenant in months.

An audible click provided enough light to bathe the room in a soft glow. It lay untouched...and utterly messy.

' _Typical Hide.'_

A wry smile pulls at his lips before they settled into a frown and eventually opened slightly in shock as wide eyes scan the contents of the overcrowd desk.

News articles. Maps. Website printouts. CCG website printouts, and CCG SS-rank Ghoul Intel. All of them were heavily marked with markers and highlighters. But what stood out the most were the posters. The missing student and the wanted posters of himself.

' _Hide... You idiot. I knew you were searching. But not like this.'_

Kaneki's fingers faintly trailed along the scattered papers on the desk before a DVD caught his attention. It was partially hidden by some of the scattered pens and highlighters. There seemed to be writing on it...

Curious fingers picked up the DVD to almost lose their grip in surprise. There hastily written in black sharpie were the words 'For you Kaneki.' It was Hide's messy handwriting.

What felt like eons to a certain half-ghoul was a mere four minutes in reality for him to convince himself to approach the DVD player and insert the disk. Kaneki didn't bother to find the remote or sit on the small sofa, preferring to be as close to the DVD player and TV as possible.

Taking a deep steadying breath, he pressed play.

The video started with a few camera adjustments as Hide centered himself. He was in the same room sitting on the couch with sunlight streaming in lighting up the shot naturally.

" _Yo~ Kaneki! How ya been? Good I hope! Not digging your own angst pit right? You better not be! Imma smack you if you are, or worse, I'll hug you until I think you've cheered up enough!"_

Hide's energetic joking voice filled Kaneki's ears. It had been so long since he heard his voice. Since he'd seen that blinding smile. Hide laughed a bit before his eyes turned sober, smile still tugging on his lips.

" _Ne, Kaneki it's been such a long time since I've seen you. There is so much I want to say, that I have to get off my chest before it suffocates me," Hide looked straight at the camera and took a breath._

" _I've known your secret for a while now Kaneki, I've known since I was attacked in that alley way by Nishiki-senpai. Thanks for protecting me that day! I really owe you one! Kaneki, I know, and I don't care. Your secret doesn't change who you are. You are still Kaneki silly, no matter what you may change about yourself you are still you and I've still got your back man! I can't imagine what thoughts are running through your head right now but know that I'm still going to look for you Kaneki. I'll find you and make you sit your butt down and talk to me. Don't you know that rabbits get lonely if you leave them for too long? I even joined the CCG to get more information on where you might be. Haha Eye patch huh? That's really cool! I'm going on a raid later today in the 20th ward. I volunteered because I overheard the others say there was a good chance you might show up. I hope I can find you, but for some reason I've got this odd feeling inside, it kinda feels like a bad omen... or maybe it was that breakfast burrito I ate a while ago, haha!"_

Hide paused to look off to the side then smiled reaching over to pick up a small CD player. __

 _"Hey I found this song that I wanted you to hear. I wanted to sing it for you the next time we went to a karaoke place. Haha~ please don't judge my singing, I'm getting better at it I swear!"  
_  
While messing with the CD player Hide glances at the camera again seemingly in deep thought.

' _Hey Kaneki, on the off chance that I die before we get to go to a karaoke place again will you listen to me sing this for you? It's in English but I'm sure you'll understand it you nerd. You always did get flat A's in English class. Just listen okay?"_

Donning that binding smile once again Hide pressed a few buttons on the portable CD payer and music started playing in the background. Hide closed his eyes and began to sing.

(Okay the song is called 'Heaven Knows' by Five for Fighting.)

" _There's no time to waste  
In this famous goodbye  
There's Angels landing on the shore_

 _So lay down with me  
Let the river run dry  
It's Sunday in the six-day war_

 _Smile darling don't be sad  
Stars are going to shine tonight_

 _Tell me where the good men go  
Before I wash away  
Walk me down the old brick road  
So I can die where I met you  
Hold me like we're going home  
Turn your tears to rain  
Bury me beautiful  
Heaven knows how I loved you_

 _There's a children's choir in perfect parade  
Singing like they found the Lord  
I can't say it they'll let me in  
But we can dance the way we did  
High above up the seventh floor_

 _Smile darling don't be sad  
Stars are going to shine tonight_

 _Tell me where the good men go  
Before I wash away  
Walk me down the old brick road  
So I can die where I met you  
Hold me like we're going home  
Turn your tears to rain  
Bury me beautiful  
Heaven knows how I loved you  
And how I loved you_

 _Father hear your Son  
Do the good die young  
Did I raise you up, raise you up  
Make you Proud_

 _Let the sun go out  
Tear the bridges down  
I'm on my way, on my way  
I'm going home  
Home_

 _Tell me where the good men go  
Before I wash away  
Walk me down the old brick road  
So I can die where I met you  
Hold me like we're going home  
Turn your tears to rain  
Bury me beautiful  
Heaven knows how I loved you_

 _Tell me where the good men go  
Before I wash away  
Walk me down the old brick road  
So I can die where I met you  
Hold me like we're going home  
Turn your tears to rain  
Bury me beautiful  
Heaven knows how I loved you_

 _Heaven Knows"_

The song ended and Hide reopened his eyes to close then once again in laughter.

" _Yosh~ I didn't mess it up this time! Ah~ I feel so accomplished! Yo! Be ready next time I see you Kaneki Imma drag you to go to karaoke with me! It's a promise! You know I wonder if I'll ever have the guts to actually give this DVD to you. Maybe as a gift for your birthday or something? I wonder if you'd even like something like this... It's kinda embarrassing. You know...I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I still gotta find you first! Just you wait Kaneki I swear I'll find you again! But I guess this is goodbye for now! Ja ne!"_

Hide waved at the camera before approaching and turning it off. The screen goes back to the main menu page to show the end of the only video stored on it.

Kaneki could only stare at the screen, seemingly frozen in time.

*drip*  
*drip* *drip*

Small drops of water soon became mini puddles on the floor. Kaneki's head was bowed and his arms didn't bother to try to wipe away the twin salty trail of tears from his face.  
" **Stupid Hide** ," came a whisper. A small unsteady smile appeared in his face, **"I told you I don't like karaoke. But thank you, this gift, I'll treasure it."**

End.

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Author's Note: OK now I'm done. I just had to make this. I was inspired by the song and was like 'why isn't there an amv for this song starring Hide and Kaneki?" hence this oneshot. Hope you like! (Plz don't kill me!)


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